Picture Post

My, how life has changed!

Three people, two weeks and one mental breakdown later, we find ourselves finishing up Cedar's second week of life.  

 She is such a sweet baby.  Full of squeaks and wiggles, a solid set of lungs and the most perfect nose I've ever nuzzled.  She gives some great snuggles and my goodness, do I love her!  

She generally eats and sleeps well, and with a full tummy and a good swaddle, she usually hits the hay for long stretches during the night, giving us anywhere for 5-7 hours of solid sleep.  After about four nights at home, I had to move the little bugger and her bassinet into the closet.  I just wasn't getting any sleep between feedings because I'd wake completely startled and worried over every sneeze, snort and breath she'd breathe.

  Despite some sleep deprivation, I feel pretty great.  I'm anxious and ready to start exercising again, I just need to figure out how to fit it into our new schedule of napping, nursing and diaper changing.  We'll get there.

Big hands, teeny pink feet.  I'm in love.

One of Cedar's favorite faces.

A friend bought Cedar this cute little outfit and sunhat and we were trying to get a good photo to send to her.  That's Jody's hand right there - she is just a Little Bitty!

Thinker.

She smiles all. the. time.  Makes sense, because she is also the gassiest baby I've ever layed eyes upon.

A few prayer requests:  At 36 weeks pregnant, I had an abnormal ultrasound with little C.  Turns out she had a bit of fluid in her right kidney, which brought us into a specialist to get a second opinion.  At said doctor's appointment, the ultrasound tech and doctor both agreed that while there was some fluid, baby should be just fine and would grow out of it eventually.  We were told to just have her checked out via an ultrasound again a few days after birth.  We had that ultrasound last week and it showed more fluid, so she is now on antibiotics and will see a urologist this Thursday.  She and I both have our two week postpardom check ups this week as well.  Please pray for healthy weight gain, a good outcome from her visit with the urologist, and health and vitality for me this week, as Jody will not be home until Friday afternoon, and I'm on my own for a few days.  In addition, we'll be hopping a plane in just two short weeks, and I ask for prayers that Cedar will be a good little eater and sleeper while we fly.  We haven't quite gotten breast feeding down perfectly, and it's hard for me to be discreet when feeding her, it just takes a lot of work.  I'm nervous about getting onto a plane and soothing and feeding her as necessary - but also I'm just plain nervous to FLY with my newborn.  Germs, bumps, strangers...blech!  I'm praying for confidence and a good attitude, and am thankful that my mother in law will be flying right next to me.

Anyway, thank you for all of the calls, texts and love these past two weeks.  It truly means the world.  We are well, we are blessed and we are happy!

Cedar May

It finally happened!  Cedar May Powell was born on Monday, May 6 at 2:06 pm.  Six pounds exactly and I couldn't be more infatuated with her.

Her birth was perfect.  Her birth was...hard.  It was long, I was in labor for about 24 hours, although the vast majority was in early labor, thank God.  I was able to do everything I wanted and needed to make my birth experience healthy, safe and natural, and I am so thankful for our experience. 

On Sunday morning, I woke up with some pretty strong braxton hicks, accompanied by irregular cramping.  I considered not going to church and hanging at home instead, but decided to buck up and go anyway -- I hadn't been to church in weeks and decided the worship and community would be good for me.  I deep breathed my way through the sermon and came home and tried to rest.  I had scheduled a meeting for 2pm that afternoon, and was determined not to miss it.  However, by around 1pm, my contractions began coming more regularly, and were getting much stronger.  Nothing unmanageable, but enough to slow me down.  I cancelled the meeting and we started timing contractions.

During early labor, I took several baths, walked my mail to the mailbox - slowly - and tried to eat and rest as much as I could.  By dinnertime, I called my Doula and let her know what was happening.  The pain was something else, that's for sure.  We chose to hang around the house until I felt ready to go to the hospital.  By bedtime, I felt like my contractions were not progressing - at all, so I decided to try going to bed.  By midnight, I was awakened by 3 strong contractions that pulled me right out of my bed and forced me to pace around our room and wake up Jody.  It hurt, man.  After that third contraction, we packed up any remaining hospital items and headed to the midwifery center to have my cervix checked.  I wanted to know where I was, and I had no idea whether this was 'it' or if I had another 24 hours coming my way.

I was only 3 cm, so my midwife gave me the option of staying overnight and laboring my way through the night, or heading home.  I chose to head home, figuring whatever extra sleep I could get would be helpful.  They gave me an Ambien and told me that if a contraction wakes me despite the sleeping pill, I'd likely be in active labor.

I passed right out in the car on the way home, and slept for about 3 hours until I was again jolted awake by a contraction.  I was in excessive pain, but breathing through and walking helped me.  Knowing that I would have a break in between contractions is what got me through each one.  I counted, and I breathed.  I clutched Jody and leaned on walls.  That birthing ball didn't do squat for me - ouch!  There was no sitting and absolutely no laying down during contractions for me.  Dear God, that was a no-no! 

Jody, Marie (our Doula) and I hung around the house from about 8 am until noon.  We chatted in between contractions, and things were cool, calm and collected.  Despite the pain, I felt good.  I knew my body was doing exactly what it needed, and I kept the thought of holding Cedar so soon very fresh in my mind.  Mostly, I breathed and I counted.  Breathed, and counted over and over again for hours. I tried my hardest to sip my coconut water and eat a few snacks, but my appetite wasn't allowing for much.  By 11 am, my legs started getting shaky, I started feeling nervous and was beginning to feel unsure of myself.  I told Jody and Marie I wanted to head to the hospital by noon, things were a-happenin' and I wanted to avoid 2 o'clock traffic heading into Norfolk. 

Things got real in that car ride.  Oh Lord, did they get real!  Jody sped to the hospital, and I breathed and cried (hard to do at the same time).  Sitting and feeling those bumps in the car did nothing for relieving my pain, and I was miserable.  Upon arrival at the midwifery center, I was checked and at 5 cm.

This picture is right after we checked in.  Look!  We were even smiling at this point!

See that guy?  Jody was my rock.  He did so wonderfully and I know seeing me in that much pain wasn't easy for him.  He kept mostly quiet, holding my hand, reminding me to breathe and telling me how strong I was. 

This picture makes us laugh.  What was he thinking at this point?  My wager goes on 

This is NOT what I signed up for.

 

More breathing, more laboring.  Ow, ow, ow.

Things start getting fuzzy after about an hour of laboring in the room.  I remember getting to a point where it felt like I had NO break in between contractions, and that killed me.  I started crying and I couldn't move, I felt paralyzed with pain.  Sensing things were moving along, I had a nurse check my progress and I was at 8 cm.  Yikes.  Baby was coming, and she was coming quick.  I was allowed get into the laboring tub at this point, and that was a life savor.  The heat and water took off some of the pressure, and I was okay for a time.  I kept breathing through the pain, but the contractions started feeling differently.  

In between contractions.  Definitely in between contractions.

 

 

The pressure was outrageous, and after about 10 minutes I felt her coming.

I freaked, and I really don't remember much from here on out.  I recall someone hollering for the midwife to come NOW and Jody, Marie and my nurse all working to pull me out of the tub and onto the bed.  I was a rag doll and in complete fear and pain.  They put me on the bed, and I can remember Jody whispering in my ear and holding my hand.  I was on my side when I felt that first unmistakable urge to push.  Our bodies are amazing, man.  It did ALL the work.  It still blows my mind the way my body worked and pushed so efficiently.  The pain was insane, but when I saw my baby crowning - saw all of that beautiful, black hair - I reached down and felt her.  I listened to my midwife's que on when and how to push, and maybe five pushes later, she was in my arms.

 

 

And there she is, in all of her bug-eyed glory!

 This picture is my favorite.  My sweet honey in her little bucket hat.  It's not really a bucket hat, but it's the only one we brought to the hospital, and she happens to have a very tiny little head (praise God!).

So, that's that.  In just 24 hours, I became a mother and I am so in love with my girl.  She is doing beautifully.  Jody and I are exhausted.  We are working hard at feeding and she has good days and bad days, as do I.  

I never knew I could love someone so much.  She has just melted my heart, and I thank God for her every day, she is such a gift!

For you make me glad by your deeds, Lord; I sing for joy at what your hands have done. -Psalm 92:4

Another Post

I truly had hoped (and maybe expected) that I would have my baby by now.  (I know, I know...everyone thinks that.  But I count as everyone!) 

Frankly, I didn't think I'd even survive to 37 weeks, so once i hit that mile marker, I turned off my pregnancy brain and put motherhood into high gear.

Big mistake.

Instead, here I am at 39 weeks and not a sign of a baby.

That's not completely true - there are signs.  I don't sleep, I'm anxious, I'm sore, I'm restless, and in addition, I am 80% effaced and nearly 2 cm dilated.  We all know what that means - baby could decide to show up tomorrow afternoon, or wait until the week before our move (sweet baby Jesus, forbid!!)  I feel as if my mind, body and heart is ready, but Cedar is just not.

Or maybe I'm not 'ready', just impatient.

Yesterday was rough.  Jody had to deal with a bunch of (may I say Assholes?) on the ship trying to make him go underway for all of next week.  I felt frustrated with the ship, with my body and my kid for not complying to 'my plans' and very confused about how to address this with God.  I've been half heartedly 'asking' for patience.  Half heartedly asking for his spirit to enter my body and give me the strength to carry on and allow his plan to progress with a happy heart, but deep in the back of my mind I'm thinking,

I don't mean it.  In fact, God, I should be honest here.  I'm restless and tired and wanting to touch, hold, love, feed, bond with my daughter.  So could you hurry it up, please?  In fact - you should bless me for my honesty!  How about giving me a baby tonight?  Great, thanks.

Jody worked things out with the ship so that he will not have to go underway next week, but instead has to start his 10 day paternity leave this weekend.  On one hand, it's a big fat bummer that he may end up wasting his full 10 days of adjusting to life with a baby with his still pregnant and less than pleasant wife - but on the other, he will be there when Cedar comes, and he will also have some time to quiet his mind before our lives get turned upside down.  So, a blessing in disguise, we'll call it. 

I am looking forward to having some company next week.  It has been rainy and we're trying not to spend extra money right now, so keeping busy all day can be a challenge.

Especially when google has 129,000 results for How to naturally induce labor.

Anyway, all is well out here.  I am a bit homesick and wishing my family was around, but am overall grateful and excited that Jody and I will be experiencing the birth of our daughter alone.  We have been through so much together, intimate moments like those are what keep us strong and in love.  It's going to be an awkward challenge having to share his love and attention not only with our daughter, but with our families and friends in the year to come, but a challenge I welcome and look forward to.

Now, onto a long walk and a reward from Starbucks!  Happy Friday!