Thoughts

You're aching and you can't sleep and your back is killing you and your ankles are swelling and you're constipated and bloated and you're passing more gas than a busload of high school football players.

In other words, you're pregnant.

Sheesh!  That's the first thing I read when I opened What to Expect When You're Expecting for the very first time this morning.  How encouraging!

On a different note,

I'm actually feeling pretty great.  My prenatals tend to give me a queasy stomach some days, but I'm sleeping great, staying active and feeling good.  I've gotten myself to the gym most days since coming back from Holiday Leave, and my goal is just to walk every day.  Not much, but it feels good and it's working for me.  I'm also still forcing down veggies like a maniac, although, sadly - they just don't appeal to me anymore.  What's happening?!

I'm having weird dreams again, but the last few nights have consisted of scary/awful-ish dreams, not dreams of marshmallow-steaks and pancakes, like the first trimester. 

No, these dreams are horrifying.  I dreamt last night that I had my baby, took her to summer camp (of course) and then completely forgot to feed her for 24 hours.  She did not...um, survive.  I spent the remainder of my dream sobbing and feeling like an idiot. 

Maybe I'm being prepared for the great sense of responsibility motherhood brings, and my dream suggests that I don't quite feel adequate.

Yet. 

But the ginormous protective mama-bear inside me is peering right around the corner, and is ready to cap anyone/thing who aims to hurt her.  That's my baby, man.  My little girl.

I've become much more sensitive to the world after realizing we're going to be raising a young lady.  I find myself staring in horror when I see teenage girls in skimpy outfits or getting eyed by grown men.  Then I respond by wagging my finger and declaring that my daughter won't be caught dead wearing that shit, and go ahead and just bury me under a rock if Jody's wild spirit shows up in Cedar around age 15.  Oh dear Lord!

Jody and I recently saw the movie This is 40.  While the trailer looked funny, and Jody and I embarassingly found ourselves more than once in the fim, I'm not going to recommend it.  There were far too many boob sightings and afterward, Jody and I couldn't help but recount how the general content of the movie included glorifying disrespectful relationships and beautiful women combined with narrow minded and less than spectacular men.
What's more, the kids in this show were outrageous.  At some point during the movie, there was a pubescent parent-child fued in which Jody patted my belly and whispered something to the extent of, 'why don't you just stay in there for another 18 years'.  I know hormonal teens can be pretty awful (I remember Matt's high school years, and I know I was some spawn of the devil during mine) but sheesh.  I found the kid/parent interactions just frustrating and annoying - and I couldn't even figure out the general plot after the (far two long) 2 hour and 15 minute film.  There seemed to be no conclusion, and I felt mostly discouraged afterwards.

But hey, that's just me.

In other news,

I am now 22 weeks pregnant and 22 years old!  How sweet it is!  Yesterday, I had the best birthday yet, as Jody made it more special than I could ever have wished.  Sound gushy?  It is.  I love that guy.
He sent me out of the house yesterday afternoon to work on another 'project'.  I'm happy to report that I did not indulge in a second coffee of the day, but did my grocery shopping instead.

Go me.

Anyway, Jody rearranged our entire bedroom to clear out a space in the corner (meant to be an office space, or a hiding place for tenants the throw their crap) for baby C.  We don't have a crib or bassinet yet (not sure what we're going to go with) but we do have a changing table, bouncy seat, and two strollers which we've very gratefully recieved from well wishing friends - for free!  Big blessings, but big space taker-upper's, too, so getting them out of the way and in an organized corner for the 'nursery' feels 100 % better.  My day got even better - I hopped into bed to find an electric blanket and big ol' body pillow, too.  Mmm, baby!  I did not want to get out of bed this morning.

After slaving away upstairs, Jody set to making me dinner.  He grilled up some some steaks, which I had requested, an acorn squash souffle, two appetizers and sparkling cider for dessert. 

Raise your hand if you think I'm spoiled!

I'm spoiled.

Anyway, thank you to Jody, my Handsome, for such a wonderful birthday - and to everyone else who took the time out of their day to call, text or message me.

Birthdays are my favorite.